so my name is Michael Masurkevitch, and I blog for two main reasons.
The first I blame on Narcissism.
I like to think I have this thing where I am a little too in love with myself. And that’s cool with me. I actually have a pretty solid (I think) theory that most “Personality Disorders” actually happen on a gradient: at each end they are associated with pathological behaviour patterns, but nearer to the middle, they are really just personally traits.
For example, Self-Love: at one end of the scale, its Clinical Narcissism, where you literally murder people to get what you want, because all other human lives are nothing to you compared to yourself. Scary stuff.
On the other end, there is a deep and crippling self-loathing: something that has gotten less attention as a disorder, because – like anxiety – it leads to fewer murders, and more just sad depressed people and suicides, which are taboo topics.
In the middle is what is considered to be “the norm.” The average.
And slightly to the ‘self-love’ side is Me.
The result of this is that I love attention and have trouble not feeling like I deserve it; that I have very little shame; and that I truly believe that the internet in general will benefit from having my opinions, realizations and epiphanies available online in this blog.
I have always wanted an audience for my every move. If ghosts were real (if? are they?) then I would want them around me constantly, laughing at my jokes and giving me that weird creepy hair-raising feeling.
The Second, is the realization that This is how I learn.
See I am just adding this now – because I actually discovered it partially through blogging and vlogging.
I have always known that I love to communicate things with other people. What I am starting to realize is that, it’s worse than just a Love of talking: its a Need to express myself in some way to conceptualise what I have experienced.
The other day I was doing some direction with #OfficeLife, in a rehearsal with two of the other actors. I listened to them run through, and I figured I had some thoughts: but once I started telling them about it, suddenly things started to click, and my brain began putting together a vision for what I actually wanted. The same thing happened with the #ActingWeekly blog: I did this acting class, it was great, but it wasn’t until I typed about my experience that I really clicked in to the takeaways that I had learned.
So that’s the other reason why I blog, and vlog: because it literally helps me conceptualise things.
If you are reading this, then Thank You for joining me on my journey of self-discovery.
Why I Act
Hey, we started a section about why I do things, and acting is a big part of this blog, so may as well just carry on, right?
I had this thing as a child, where I was fascinated with other humans. I wanted to meet everyone, hear every story, hear every emotion. My deepest regret was that I would only get one life to live, one set of choices and experiences.
So I’ve been trying to live it to the fullest….
In the meantime, I’ve found a good outlet for the wanting to live-other-lives thing: Acting, which allows me to become and feel a different personality and set of emotions every role.
This is my “head shot” – because lets face it, the only thing I love more than other people … is me 😉
So this blog will feature Me sharing little bits and slices of my life, emotions, thoughts, philosophies, ideas, and experiences – with you. And the rest of the internet! Partly because I have these things that I for some reason believe the world could get something out of. And partly because, this is my learning process: as I write to you, Dear Blogivore, I conceptualise things about my own life experiences.
So What’s this Blog About, Exactly?
Frankly, it changes weekly.
Some things that have come up as themes are “Michael understanding acting/moviemaking” and “Michael understanding the world around him from a vaguely sociological perspective.”
I know I have a tendency to ask questions that vary from Deep and intuitive, to Ridiculous. I know I tend to philosophize obsequiously about every experience, and also to use large words gratuitously (and sometimes incorrectly, although I think both of those were ok.) I tend to theorise about science and logic, based on the way that I FEEL they work, the results of which are alternately surprisingly brilliant or hilariously stupid (I think so anyway). I always had plans for other blogs too, where I’d have a bit more of a bent – like “The Greenist” about environmental stuff, and “Ask Michael” as a sort of a Dear Ann letter (but to me!) and “Sociologism,” a distilled version of the #Unpacked stuff.
But this blog right here … is just pure shameless Mikey, all the time.
Atleast I know how to make fun of myself though (see below:)